User:Leucosticte/Life's too short

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I sometimes hear people say, "Life's too short to do x" or "Life's too short not to do y." The logic behind it often seems unclear. For example, a friend once objected to some disparaging comments someone was making about copulation with rotund women by saying, "Hey! Life's too short not to fuck fat chicks."

I pondered this and thought, "Hmm, suppose life lasted 500 years. And suppose, at the end of it, I had not fucked any fat chicks. How would that be any different than if I had lived only 70 years and not fucked any fat chicks? Either way, I would be thinking to myself, Gee, I lived all that time and didn't fuck any fat chicks and now it's too late." If anything, the feeling of regret would be worse after 500 years, because I would be thinking that I should have squeezed that into my schedule somewhere in all that time. If I only lived 70 years, I might be able to chalk it up to being busy with other stuff, due to wanting to accomplish so much over such a short lifespan.

What seems more relevant is how much time one has left in one's life. If you only have five minutes left to live, then you might do stuff that you would refrain from doing if you had longer to live, because of the consequences. E.g., you might normally not have sex with a fat chick because of what your friends might think, but if you only have five minutes left to live, why not? But it's immaterial whether that five minutes is at the end of a 70-year life or a 500-year life.

What I think they're actually trying to say is "You only live once." I.e., you need to accomplish everything you want to accomplish in this life, because you won't get another. Which is another way of saying, not "You don't have much time total in your life," but rather "You don't have much time remaining", which boils down to what I was just saying. It's immaterial whether you originally had one life or five lives, if you're now on your last life. The end result is the same, which is that you are now in a situation in which whatever you want to accomplish, you better get done in this life.

On the other hand, as Philosoraptor pointed out, "If you only live once, why risk ruining it with a rash decision?" Or as Eminem's conscience once said, "Now before you walk in the door of this liquor store and try to get money out the drawer You better think of the consequence" and "think about the baby before you get all crazy". Then again, depending on the situation, sometimes the chance of reward is worth the risks.

Now, there might be one circumstance in which it would make sense to say that one's total lifespan is too short not to fuck fat chicks, and that would be if one had a certain quota of chicks one wanted to fuck in one's life, and it could not be met in the limited amount of time available unless one were to broaden one's horizons to include fat chicks in those one would be willing to copulate with. Perhaps that is indeed what my friend was talking about. On the other hand, if one were to say, "I want to fuck x chicks per week," rather than "I want to fuck y chicks over my lifespan" it would again be immaterial whether the lifespan were 70 or 500 years, as far as the appropriate degree of pickiness about those chicks were concerned. The same applies if one were to simply say, "I want to fuck the maximum number of chicks possible"; in that case, too, one would greatly relax one's standards, irrespective of the length of one's total lifespan or how much time one had left to live.